OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
