Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize