The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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