I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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