Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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