Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
