I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
