I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
