I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
