Have you finally orgasmed yet?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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