She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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