I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
