he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
