Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
