They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize