tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize