My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
