You can't special order awesome
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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