i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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