I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I need water and some morals
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
