Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
