I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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