Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
