I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
But break dance skills will only take you so far
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
