return my video game
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
