I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
