Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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