This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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