Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize