This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
