..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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