hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
