Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
