party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
