So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
