yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
