my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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