C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Sorry about my life...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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