Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
