About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
