i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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