Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
