I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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