CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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