Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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