I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i wish my penis had a tongue
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
