Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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