All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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