the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
