Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize