It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
thus making me awesome and them whores
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
