Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
