I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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