just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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