That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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