I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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