Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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