I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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