I just cut my nipple shaving
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
