My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize