I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
