i permit you to call me
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I want you more than these girls want KFC
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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