Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
