Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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