I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Hippo gnu deer
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
