Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
