i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He kissed a someone with a penis
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
